Dead Mermaid

We scavenge and hoard food when we can find cherries and pork scraps in trash cans and in riverbanks.

Essence of Michael

The Mike Johnson Experience: Phenomenon

"Phenomenon" was a demo the MJE recorded with Julian Chobot.  All those files have been lost to the ages*, but here is a compilation of rare tracks.  Also called Phenomenon, for the sheer irony!  Quality is awful.  This is mostly here for Zach's sake.  Enjoyez!

Mediafire: Download Link

MP3/128 kbps with some skips/35.67 mb/24:35

Track Listing:

1. "The Classic" Take 1

2. "Frankly, It's not that Poetic" Take 1

3. "Eye of the Tiger" Live at Higher Ground 6/7/06

4. "I Will Survive" Live at Bernie Rocks 10/7/06

5. "It's A Long, Long Way Up From Here" Live at Battery Park 8/12/06

6. "Frankly, It's not that Poetic" Take 3

7. "Cuts Like a Knife" Live at Cabaret 2/17/06

8. "Oh My God" Live at Bernie Rocks

9. "We are So Screwed"

*Except for Track 1, The Classic, included as Track 1 of this release.  If you have studio recordings of The Classic, Mike's Big Solo, YMCA, or The Rap Song, do tell!

Addendum:  Most tracks skip quite often, but there are some good parts.  One could try to make the claim that the skipping adds to the brownness, but t'would be grasping at straws.

Breadbeast: Delicious Marshmellow (2009)

"Breadbeast" is the moniker I chose to release Delicious Marshmellow, a collection of electronic tracks I have worked on over the last four years.

Download Link: Mediafire

MP3/320 kbps/55.41 mb/25:19

Track Listing:

1. Mesa

2. Asunder

3. Mosquioto Hunter

4. Dragonpox

5. Shizberry

6. Glen's Theme

7. Albino Avocado Cactus

8. The Coming of the Rain

9. Renaissance Fair

10. Whompus Sinkhole

11. Electrofantasy

Dedicated to shizberries and Michael.  Antidedicated to the English language.

Personnel:
Nils L. Ankoff: Programming, drums (9), tabla (2), bass (10), Electrocomp (2), vox (6,7,9).
A cast of thousands:  Additional vox (6).
M. Balantekin: Additional vox (7)
G. MacKay: Production (7)

Cavity Search: Live at 242 Main

Newscaster for WCAX, Vermont's own Channel 3 news: What's the name of your band?

Colin, Rusty, Zach, and Josh: We're Famous Anus!

This was the start and end of the only interview with Famous Anus.  Ever.  Famous Anus changed their name to Cavity Search in the wake of their career-ruining interview.  It's pretty clear why Rusty is on the cover.

Download Link: Mediafire

MP3/128 kbps/7.67 mb/5:48

Two other tracks if you so desire:

The Pie Man: Only studio recording of Cavity Search.

The Pie Man (acoustic): Minimalist arrangement.

The Mike Johnson Experience: 1st Show

The Mike Johnson Experience's first show ever.  MMU Cabaret.  October 12, 2005.  With Mike on keys, Zach on bass, Ben on cowbell, Josh on drums, Aaron on trumpet, Rusty on triangle, and Jessi on maracas.  For no apparent reason, the cover is Rusty.

Download Link: Mediafire

MP3/128 kbps/5.35 mb/5:48

The Mike Johnson Experience: Heterosexual Afternoon

Truly a band ahead of their time, The Mike Johnson Experience lay down the funk discotastically.  Before their untimely disbandment in 2007, audiences worldwide swooned at Big Ben's hard, powerful cowbell strokes and Mike Johnson's subtle, masterful nose-recorder.  "Heterosexual Afternoon" finds the MJE at their best -- rocking out to hundreds of their most rapid fans at Higher Ground in South Burlington, Vermont.

Download: Mediafire Link

MP3/320 kbps/71.61 mb/36:10

Important note: The MJE was not "better" than Skanky Green.  The warning label on the front cover is in reference to a friendly rivalry between the two bands.

It's Time for a Barrel

Nils Realismo decided it was very slimy, that, as a citizen of the middle of the Sahara, he couldn't obtain the title of Sir, completing his Sir Realismo persona.  Michael, the slutty meteor, thought the plan was solid.  Here's the plan - Nils would intensely break into the middle of the Sahara headquarters, thereby kidnapping all four of the Beach Boys, and forcing them to Knight him (the four Beach Boys have the key to the city). The four Beach Boys proved more unfair than expected, so Nils and Michael sharted.  Glen, splotchy as ever, said to Nils, "Ay!  I always knew you would collect nutrias!"  Eventually Sir Realismo became a reality, and all rejoiced, singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" under the prophecy.