Interview with Lankoff

Watch in horror as Allie, a good friend and Oberlin third-year Creative Writing major, interviews Lankoff about all things.

A: If you had to take one part of your body and transplant it onto another part of your body, what part would you transplant where?
L: That's silly.

A: It's not silly. It's interesting.
L: I would transplant my nostrils to my butt.

A: If you had to go on a date with any of the presidents of the United States, living or dead, which would it be? And what would the date be?
L: I would take Grover Cleveland out for brunch between his two terms and tell him that everything was going to be all right, that he'd be president again before he knew it. Then we'd cuddle.

A: Awwww.
L: Sure.

A: You're not very good at this.
L: This is the best interview I've ever done.

A: If you could be a Hamiltonian or Eulerian circuit, which would you be?
L: Hamiltonian. I avoid edges.

A: If you could have any Oberlin College professor turned into a dinosaur, and that dinosaur would be your steed that you could ride around on all the time, which professor? And what kind of dinosaur?
L: I would turn Bernard Motambo into a pterodactyl.

A: THAT'S THE PROFESSOR AND THE DINOSAUR OF WHICH I WAS THINKING!!!

That's all the time we have. What insight you, the reader, have gained!